Ready for some hot god on god action? Because ish about to get real up in Asgard as the release date of Thor: Ragnarok comes closer every day.
#5 – It’s the end of the universe!
Ragnarök (what a shame Marvel dropped that umlaut; everything’s bëtter with an umlaut) is the ancient Norse prophecy of apocalypse. The Germans had a word for it, too (no surprise there): Götterdämmerung. (Yay, umlauts!)
Basically, Valhalla, the home of the gods Odin and company, would get trashed, burned and drowned. Just like Spring Break. And in this flick, that might just happen at the hands of:
#4 – Hela, the Goddess of Death
Hela, Goddess of Death. Now, there’s a badass moniker. She’s played by Cate Blanchett, with more antlers than Ted Nugent’s trophy wall. Can’t get any further from Galadriel than this role. Can she annihilate Asgard and its glorious gods, much like evil Anakin mowing down young Jedi? Where the Hela is Thor?
#3 – All pawns in the Grandmaster’s game
Well, our titular hero is not exactly at liberty to rush in and save the day. He’s being held, hammer-less, in Sakaar, a nasty little planet far away, by a nasty big Grandmaster, played by the majestically nefarious Jeff Goldblum (sans the blue skin his character boasts in the comics). A little Bowie, a little Brooklyn hipster, a little fabulous . . . a potent mix. He and his Asgardian traitor (?) Valkyrie are pitting prisoner Thor against a powerful rival in a gladiatorial battle for their evil enjoyment. That rival?
#2 – The Incredible Hulk!
Yep. The Hulk and Thor are forced to
hug fight it out, mano a mano (goddo a monstero?) But don’t fret, our heroes soon embark on a buddy flick journey (with Mark Ruffalo playing both the Hulk and his more placid alter ego, Bruce Banner) to get back to Asgard for some As-kicking. But they’ll need help. And that comes from a most unlikely source.
#1 – Redemption, at last?
That’s right, it’s time for Loki to redeem his sorry self and help save all things Norse. And this is no time for a “low key” effort, amirite??
Let’s get it on!